Seasonal Change & The Lack Thereof...

My son, daughter, and a friend - Fully embracing the change of season...

Feels a little like wandering aimlessly - A lack of focus can have that effect on a person. You think/hear/say, "You're just taking a little well-deserved break," and yet still feel a tiny pang of guilt, laziness, or regret... or all of the above. As you may know, I took on a lot this year. In addition to continuing my Etsy business and becoming a Mary Kay consultant, I decided to also become a Scentsy consultant, join a book/study group, put my oldest in soccer, my two youngest in daycare part-time, AND join a Zumba class that I try to make it to three times a week. Whew! I know many of you have a lot more on your plate than I do, but this is a lot for me. I pride myself on being able to say "no" when enough is enough. I know how important "me" time is for my well-being... And yet I digress...

Last year my daughter was on a mission to learn big, new words and phrases and sprinkle them ceremoniously into her daily conversation. During a chat at the dinner table with our weekly dinner guests, she began interjecting, "You're deviating from the subject," at every possible opportunity. This went on for weeks before it became unbearably annoying, but I thought it was pretty cute for a while that she got so much entertainment from something her father says frequently. I'm sure I only notice it because he's usually saying it to me! I think I might be incapable of giving a direct answer to a question. I can start with the backstory of something, having every intention of getting to the present answer, and end up asking, "Where was I going with this?" or "How did I get started on this subject?" What can I say... I blame it completely on heredity!

A fuzzy camouflage stocking cap... It's a gift for someone!

This Summer I was tackling this lack of focus with everything in my arsenal. It wasn't that I was losing interest in the few things I had made big committments to, but knowing myself (and how I can be), I forged ahead by adding more to my list and schedule. I reasoned that if one tangent was falling short of my expectations or losing my complete attention, I had another to bring myself back into the game and renew my energy. My good intentions were that one would jump start the other, and I think they might have worked as temporary distractions... Who can be sure?

A current work-in-progress - An extra long red Autumn striped scarf...

I went for weeks without picking up my crochet hooks or jewelry tools. I hadn't had a Mary Kay function aside from team meetings in weeks as well. It wasn't because I was successfully distracting myself with other "hobbies" and interests, it was because I wasn't focusing on any one thing at all. And in true human fashion, I started beating myself up for this. I told myself I had taken on too much and in return, I had allowed everything to slide. Being the perfectionist I am, I allowed little comments here and there to seep in and erode my sense of purpose. My philosophy has always been "One thing at a time," along with my well-worn mantra, "Anything worth doing is worth doing well." In other words, if you aren't giving it your all, you might as well not be giving it anything.

As the leaves brightened slowly and vividly around me, the air became cooler and more brisk, and I felt myself awakening. I have always loved the beauty of Autumn, and as the leaves begin to fall and changes in the air begin taking place, I have to allow myself to stop and breathe! I may be a perfectionist, but I'm not incapable of seeing the positives in this bustling schedule. I made it through the Summer burn and was becoming fully ready to buckle down for the internal focus and changes I needed to make to get through the Winter ahead. I had had a lot of time to think about what I hadn't been doing and what I could have been doing, and now I was ready and mentally clear to actually do it!

A dusty pink and plum purple and heathered gray striped cowl / infinity / circular scarf neck warmer...

My inner Negative Nelly told me I wasn't accomplishing much over the last few months but my inner Enlightened Ellie realized that, although the things I was occupying myself with weren't necessarily on my list or anyone else's, I was still achieving a lot! It dawned on me that I had made several new friends and connected more deeply with some of my existing local friends. Even though I hadn't listed a ton of new Etsy items or hosted tons of parties, I had started accumulating a vast list in my mind of new projects and beautiful compositions. My house was cleaner!!! In those few blurry and seemingly unproductive months, I had moved, consolidated, and completely reorganized my studio/desk area and my Mary Kay inventory. It was easier to beat myself up for all the things that I wasn't getting done, than to pat myself on the back for all the things I did that, had I kept all those regular "chores" on my plate, I would have never made the time for.

Flecked Ecru Wristwarmers...

 While motivation had been in short supply, inspiration had been a part of my vocabulary for many weeks in a row. My focus had been lacking, but my mind, heart, body and soul were being rigorously exercised. My Mary Kay business, whether it's selling like hotcakes or not, helps me feel beautiful, and reminds me to take good care of myself throughout the day because looking good = feeling good, whether I want to admit it or not! My book/study group is helping clear the cobwebs out of my mind while building some strong new relationships. My kids are blossoming like crazy as they learn new skills in their latest adventures. Scentsy products make my house smell amazing while calming and rejuvenating me. And here I am with my age-old 'clarity catcher,' blogging again! Zumba has been one of the best things I've added to the schedule so far - I feel amazing! Even though the numbers on the scale haven't decreased much yet, my body is reshaping itself and giving me tons of energy I never thought I'd have again! Slowly but surely, Stacey's gettin' her groove back!

Happy Fall!

The Art of Direct Connect

...Direct sales and home parties might drive a shudder down your spine as you instantly think of pushy old women wearing crisp blazers and too much makeup, sipping tea from their pasted-on smiles over stacks of Tupperware. Or you automatically picture a bored and restless housewife from a bygone era hosting Bridge each week with cucumber sandwiches and Vienna sausages, easy prey for a big company promising large income with a "small" investment... 

So maybe you follow me under the impression that home parties and consultant teams were a trend of the past, or at the very least somewhat archaic in nature and therefore only entertaining to an entirely different group of people from yourself. Certainly not for the contemporary, sophisticated, and savvy, like you! That said, the overall concept is more likely a valid avenue for those in the midst of certain economic and social circumstances, as I am beginning to discover. With an audacious spirit and a little research, you just might find it is a perfect fit on both sides - Buying and selling.

Delicious on toast or coffee... or both!

We've all heard of the largest companies like Avon, Mary Kay, the aforementioned Tupperware, HerbaLife, and Amway (or whatever it's called these days). But there is new blood in the life of the old home party. Lia Sophia, Miche, Scentsy, Thirty-One, Pampered Chef, PartyLite, Watkins, BeautiControl, Pure Romance, Purse Parties, Silpada... These are just a few of the ones I've heard of, and you can even find some Watkins products in stores! Shall we summarize the typical hang-ups for skeptics?

Why is it not available in the conventional mass market? And what is up with all this recruiting nonsense? Admittedly, I was usually in the camp of people who got annoyed with all this ridiculousness, criticizing the whole idea because it "exploit(s) social conventions in ways that embarrass 'guests' into buying things they did not want [stolen from wikipedia.org]." And what heck is the difference between these guys and the illegal, ill-fated pyramid scheme?

However, if you have ever been roped into attending one of these silly, girl-y functions, and furthermore gotten roped into parting with your cold, hard cash to purchase some of these sort of "private label" items, the chances are good that you ended up not hating what you bought! A big worry for a lot of people is that their hard-earned money might be wasted because the idea of the return or exchange process with a salesperson who is likely a close friend or co-worker is downright horrific to them. Keep this in mind: If your friend is half the salesperson she wants to be, she's smart enough to make it as painless as possible. She will want to know which products don't work and why. She won't want bitterness and resentment over wasted money and perceived pressure.

One of my many Miche purse-onas!

Ironically, for someone who has been a little put off by the whole idea for the most part, I happen to love just about every single one of my purchases! My Miche bag and interchangeable shells were not cheap, but the construction and materials are significantly better and will probably last much longer than the dozen others I paid a lot less for. I felt pretty fantastic and healthy when I was on HerbaLife. PartyLite candles really do burn a lot longer and have just the right amount of fragrance in each one. I still cherish my mom's old Home Interior artwork prints and Christmas decorations. My mother herself was a Stanley Home Products rep once upon a time, and we have yet to find a de-greaser that works as well as theirs. The best laundry pre-wash and stain remover I ever used was from Amway. 

From either Home Interior or PartyLite...

Nothing could keep me away from my mom's Home Interior parties, watching the representative rearranging home decor on her portable "wall" with clever little T-pins. And fond memories resound with the ring of a doorbell, announcing a house call with "Avon calling!" just before one of my mother's friends sat down with her to browse the catalog one-on-one. 

I have the cutest trunk organizer that complements the interior of my beloved SUV, and a fabulous storage basket that does double duty as my toilet paper roll holder, both of which I bought from my friend who sells Thirty-One. I'm constantly coming up with new ideas for using my old scrapbooking supplies from Creative Memories, like adding a little embellishment to my shipping and packing materials for the jewelry & crocheted items I sell online. 

One of Thirty-One's storage items...

I was approached recently with the proposition of becoming part of a Mary Kay team. Although flattered, I was shocked, since I didn't use many of the products yet, didn't know much about the company, and have always despised the dreaded career path of sales. I can't fight the notion that most true salespeople are telemarketers at heart, who presumably must sell their souls prior to anything else! I needed to do some online research to tackle my hesitation head-on and promptly stumbled upon some very nasty blogs and comments about the company and its consultants. I had to... quite honestly, just laugh! The criticism and disillusionment from former representatives and clients was understandable in some situations, but as more and more of my friends and family jump on the home business bandwagon, I'm experiencing a shift in my perspective.

In case you hadn't already noticed, something happens to a woman after she gives birth. And some women go through a sort of 'crisis' when they navigate various stages of mid-life. Honorable mention goes to the current crisis in America's economy, and my personal journey through this season has evicted me from my former camp. The direct selling and home party thing may not be so distasteful, in fact, it just might be a viable solution! 

Before we moved a couple of states away from our family and friends, we were the primary host of social functions and get-togethers for our group, and suddenly not being in that position was quite a shock to our system. I got pregnant very soon after the move with baby #3, and I felt my grasp on the corporate world and my social life slipping away. It would be just about impossible to afford childcare for three on my wages and it was much harder to get out of the house than it had been in the past. I had always wanted to be a mother, but I had never thought of myself as being only a homemaker forever. And although I had never thought of myself as a "salesperson," I was experiencing more than a few hints that I desperately needed something to maintain a link to my former self and the world at large.

The feminist in me bucked the general concept of direct sales and home parties, but suddenly I was in unfamiliar territory. I no longer felt threatened or hindered by my newfound domestic capabilities, yet I was still feeling socially isolated and less than financially productive. I have opened shops on Etsy and ArtFire to sell my handmade jewelry and crocheted work online, and this taps into every creative nook and cranny I have in me. I love it; it is so fulfilling even though I am just starting out and far from monetary success. I can do all of it from home, in my pajamas, with my children playing nearby. But the Mary Kay thing is nagging at my social butterfly... I love makeup. I love a reason to get together and hang out with friends. I love a facial; if you've never had one, I highly recommend it! I hate that I wear lounge clothing 99% of the time. I hated even more that I had gotten to a point where I didn't have too much incentive to not appear a little slovenly.

In re-visiting one of the originators of this business concept, companies like "Tupperware created a means for the housewife to maintain her obligations in the domestic sphere of the household while creating an independence from the home in a sociable atmosphere.^[10] The Tupperware Party allowed for women of the 1950s to work and enjoy the benefits of earning an income without completely taking away the independence granted to women during the Second World War when women first began entering the labor market, all the while keeping their focus in the domestic domain.^[11] The "Party" model builds on characteristics generally developed by being a housewife (e.g. party planning, hosting a party, sociable relations with friends and neighbors) and created an alternative choice for women who either needed or wanted to work. The reciprocity that emerges at the “parties” which are traditionally composed of friends and family members of the hostess create a nurturing atmosphere without a direct sales feeling." [wikipedia.org]

Modern women in the feminist camp usually feel this business model is outdated and unnecessary, but stay with me. Many of these companies, including the ones that have been around forever, have a strong commitment to empower the women who sell their products. Many of these companies are built on a solid foundation of good morals and principles. Many women are attracted to this line of work because, unlike a "regular" job, it enables them to decide when, where, and how to work. You can be your own boss! Set your own hours! Starting your own business can be too daunting for some, and selling direct from these established companies eliminates a lot of the obstacles and guesswork. All great women understand the concept of getting back what you put in, and this is how some people become very successful at it.

My new Mary Kay makeup...

When you love a certain product and become a loyal customer, you use it regularly and you become devoted to it. Therein lies the rub. How do you know you like or dislike something if you don't try it? Isn't that what we all tell our kids at the dinner table?! When you develop a passion for something, you become a natural spokesperson! No effort necessary. Your zeal alone is magnetic. 

Nowadays, internet and cell phone technology make the home party just one of the fun, albeit more personal and nostalgic options for the myriad of ways to shop, market, and network. The single biggest attraction to these businesses is often also the biggest turnoff. The simplicity of connection is what drives and feeds this machine. Unless you are a born salesperson or stellar liar, you must put a lot of time and energy into connecting with others and building a powerful confidence in your product in order to make sales and profit. If this doesn't sound like you, think about the challenges you would face. Ask yourself if building relationships, learning to deal with possible rejections gracefully, making persistence pay off, and becoming independent in a variety of ways are challenges that you could stand to incorporate into your life?

Comedic scenes depicting the massive bombshell dropped during the blissful baby shower, the bachelorette party catfight, or hasty birthday party exits with screaming toddlers, with tearfully humorous scene conclusions are pretty funny. Not so funny is the fine line between the annoying stalker who never just 'hangs out' anymore and the awesome party planner that happens to also sell cool stuff you can't get just anywhere. But it's rare to find the products or the party themselves a problem, because the products have been rigorously evaluated in similar casual environments and practically no one hates a party!

Young and old alike love a party, party, party! Yet at the core of all this fun is usually a group of inspired people dedicated to marketing products they have put their whole lives into. All the while preserving an equal opportunity for women, typically mothers, who need better than just one good excuse for possibly preserving a bit of their former identity and, even more so, for taking a break from the typical responsibilities they face doing the toughest and most important job of all.

www.MommasBiz.com

If you're hesitating to attend or host a party - Don't. Go for it! You have nothing to lose. Even if you don't buy anything as a guest, the hostess will appreciate your support by just being there, the rep will appreciate your attention while laying the foundation for future prospects, and at the very least you'll have a decent time and probably some delicious snacks! Buying local is a huge movement right now, and one of the fastest, easiest ways to do that is to support and compensate someone you know who is a consultant for one of the many direct selling companies out there. If your focus is buying American, most of these companies are owned and operated here, not overseas. If you're considering becoming a consultant yourself, do your homework. Get answers from the Direct Selling Association website. Know what you're really getting into. Investment on your part should be minimal to start.

If you're worried about making money once you've marketed to all the people you know now, remember there are tons of resources, ideas, and venues for expanding by advertising. A couple of my innovative friends at MommasBiz.com manage a website that helps people locate local businesses online and acts as an advertising platform for consultants. The good news is that the home party business has been around for decades, and diligent independent consultants don't appear to be going anywhere else anytime soon. People love getting a great party invitation, and most people find it pretty difficult to turn down the prospect of making a little extra money. Even better news? Everyone agrees that the camaraderie of a great team and the connections you make with your clients and fellow customers along the way will take you to places you've never been, inside and out.

Recommended links:
www.mommasbiz.com
www.watkinsonline.com/anaduncan
www.mythirtyone.com/Luvina_31
www.makesscents2me.scentsy.com
www.dsa.org

Country Mice, City Slickers & Judging A Book by Cover

I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little - if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that's the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.
-- Coco Chanel

     I may be the last person on the face of the planet warranted to discuss at any length the various complexities of fashion or style. Let's just get that out of the way tout de suite.... Let's just say that I was not endowed with wealth... Like, ever. And a large percentage of my clothing, if not all of it at times, throughout my childhood and teen years consisted of hand-me-downs and second hand finds. Accessories? Those were for rich people and functional occasions, like... snowstorms. As a native (and poor) Oregonian, even umbrellas were a frivolous extravagance. Worse yet, as I write this I am in my pajamas.... At one o'clock in the afternoon... Such is the life of a stay-at-home-mom. Hush. Don't talk to me about irony. You can't see me... Writing this is a thinly veiled effort to hold myself accountable for my current personal wardrobe!

Hauling trash at Grandma's... In Jellies... 1989

     If I haven't already lost you, let's move on to the next phase of my life in which I graduated in more ways than one. I put a few great jobs and a little education under my belt, and to top it all off, married a generous and charming guy who is still blessing me with lots of experiences and indulgences I never thought I would ever have in my life. I had always found a shred of pride in not requiring a lot of investment in my appearance. I truly wanted to be low-maintenance... But the truth is, I am so not.

     There are a multitude of reasons that I learned to appreciate city life in stark contrast to my upbringing in a small town. Once I got used to the various nuances of living in a metropolitan area, I noticed that dressing nicely meant getting treated significantly better wherever I went. Looking the part of "happy to be here" seemed to be contagious. Salespeople were helpful and never pushy. Strangers made friendly chit-chat. I made friends in general. These were huge accomplishments for me! I was, for once in my life, perceived as approachable, intelligent, and dare I say it, chic sometimes? When living in a small town, I downplayed my openness and adventurousness. Being rigid and "average" felt like I was protecting myself, while being flexible and interested in trying new things and meeting new people seemed foolish and irrelevant. I decided that my time in the city was invaluable - Practically everything at virtually any time was available to me and my children, why not enjoy it and learn from it?

Redneck Hot Rollers... (Ca. 1991)

      Besides the traffic, which just becomes an ordinary aspect of daily life after a while, I loved living in the suburbs and working in the city. And if I'm being completely honest, I even miss that darned traffic. Quiet time to myself, in my car, was rejuvenating! I thought it was great to spot a stylish woman in a coat or boots to die for, wondering if I could pull that off... Men in trendy shirts and jeans or business suits, a delicious sushi restaurant and... Saks Fifth Avenue?! I can't believe I didn't force myself to walk inside even once just to window shop, because, I jokingly told people, 'I couldn't afford it!' It was not uncommon to meet a woman who didn't get regular manicures and highlights, or have children and actually stay at home with them all day every day. In fact, I met men who did that for their wives instead, including the salon time! Women in the city were on the go and had glamorous lives. I thought it was fabulous. I was also thrilled that my children were exposed to people, places and things that I never even thought I would be. Different cultures, different lifestyles, different opportunities... So many things to do and see! Everything and everyone was so interesting to just look at, if not interact with!

Portland, OR

     I enjoyed these aspects of city life because I sort of discovered how I wanted to represent myself outwardly... There was a niche for everyone, no need to hide anything in order to fit in. If you wanted privacy and anonymity, it was there. If you wanted to make friends and be social, that was always available too. Standing out was expected in order to get noticed for that job or connection. I loved that I didn't have to worry about things like finding work or safe and educational childcare... And then we moved away.

     I went from working full time in a very professional environment to not. Instead of finding form and function in the latest trends and sophisticated classics, I saw someone out in their pajamas every time I left the house. Clothing was no longer what I considered stylish, just sort of functional. Not long after, I started leaving the house in pajama pants. All I can say about that is that I've learned never to say never. We came from a small town so I thought I knew what I was getting into, but this was too much for me. I was quite literally going through culture shock. Slowly at first, it really started getting to me... It got into me. I  rationalized that it wasn't worth the investment of time and money to put makeup on every day. And why bother dirtying nice clothes when no one, except the people who are supposed to love me unconditionally, is going to see me anyways? No one here seemed to expect me to, and since I barely knew anyone, I came to settle on the idea that it didn't matter what I looked like. I was housebound.

Clinton Kelly & Stacy London

     And then Pajama Jeans came out. I wondered what the world was coming to. I felt sure I was going to see those on someone I knew, and I was terrified that that someone was going to be me. I've always loved the show "What Not To Wear," but I was getting to the place in my life where my outward appearance, and the appearances of others was actually, physically, depressing me. Stacy and Clinton assured their proteges of this fact in many episodes. You've heard the mantra, "Its what's inside that counts," but the truth is, that we are all human beings who judge each other based on first impression. If someone tells you the first time they met you that your complete soul immediately appealed to them, with no gut reaction based on your physical appearance first, I'd advise you to either marry them or take a crucifix with you when encountering them again.

High Tea... In tube socks... (Ca. 1981)

     Most importantly, I began passing negative judgment on my new temporary location because of its outward appearance. I didn't like where I was because it looked to me like no one else liked being here either. I couldn't see evidence, in the simplest of expressions, of people celebrating this place and how it made them feel. Once again, I felt compelled to shrink back and fit in. It felt like death. Of course, I am totally exaggerating, and I now do not feel this way every time I go into town. I know how much people love living here, and I've met many 'effortlessly chic' people now that we've been here a while. At the time, I wasn't getting out enough to formulate a truly objective opinion of my new home, but I couldn't fight the feeling that if most everyone in the grocery store couldn't even muster up the effort to slap on some mascara or real denim, when I was hugely pregnant and schlepping two kids around... Again, I am exaggerating - What can I say, it's what I do! I knew how I felt when someone else seemed overdressed, making me wonder when the camera crew was going to appear or if someone in my presence might actually be having tea later with the Queen of England... Better to blend so as not to make anyone uncomfortable, right?

     The truth is that if you dress the same way when you are headed out in public as you do when you're sleeping or sick, what does that say about your feelings toward where you are or have to be? Others appreciate it when your appearance pays respect to your environment. If you love your environment, then tell the world without speaking a word. For example, you take notice when a friend is sporting a new pair of earrings, or a cool new haircut - Maybe not because it is in your personal taste, but because of how it makes her feel. Sometimes it inspires you to take a risk and make a change, because when you look good, you feel better, if not always good! What you put on and into your body should be reflective of how you want to feel, not necessarily just  pure comfort or convenience. Many believe their body is a temple, and most people would be more than a little disgusted if their real, cherished temple was finished with cheap siding and peeling gray paint.

     You've heard, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." A good mission in life is to be content and find pleasure and happiness in the simple things, like what you already have. Sometimes cost is prohibitive, many people don't feel right investing a ton of money and energy into their appearance. Many people reject the idea of being judged outwardly, and rebel with fierce expression through their appearance, swinging the pendulum in the opposite direction. But for me, putting on makeup isn't always about 'covering up' and appeals to my affinity for art and color. I don't consider outfits that make me look good and feel good as messaging or advertising - They appeal to my tiny inner extrovert. I think I might actually believe that a great haircut and style might have the potential to kick-start dramatic change your life!

     Not everyone has time and energy to put into "making yourself up" every day but it is so worth the effort, when leaving the house, to put on a good face in more ways than one. Women, especially, succumb to what I like to call "deflective default" after marriage and children - They seem to think people stop looking at them or even seeing them. As parents and even just plain adults, we should strive to be role models of what we think true beauty, poise, character and personality looks like. Inside and out. If you are someone's employee, it should be part of your job to exhibit professionalism and cheer in what you do. Inside and out.

I have always thought my mother had great taste in shoes. (Ca. 1980)

     If styles, trends, and accessories feel like a costume or uniform to you, and that is distasteful or seems conventional to you, by all means view it differently. If you struggle with expressing yourself or conforming, you don't have to "dress up!" Be yourself. Don't try too hard. Inner beauty  and self-confidence doesn't need a lot of flash. Project what you want to reflect, because like it or not, you are always sending a message and expressing something. Make sure it is what you want to say.

     Life in our beautiful environment on Earth is a wonderful, miraculous, incomparable gift. Shouldn't it look like it?

Reveling in Ravelry

Made In China

     Isn’t everything these days? I don’t love many things as much as I love a good deal, but I started to get more than a little disgusted when the economy tanked and it seemed like everyone I knew was struggling to find work. Naturally, my thought process jumped to shopping for things made locally, that would provide jobs to actual local people. However, that brilliant idea was shot down quickly when I realized most environmentally friendly shopping facilities didn’t include clothing or other basic necessities. With the exception of the foodie movement, we have got a long way to go, baby. Never mind the fact that my skin crawls under animal fibers, and most items I searched for, even online, boasted proudly their use of wool and cashmere.

     I decided enough was enough. If I couldn’t BUY American made, I was going to MAKE American made. Granted, I didn’t even own a sewing machine or crochet hooks at the time, and I don’t know many people who even know how to make their own clothing and accessories, let alone want to work in a factory someday, all day. With that said, I nonetheless had an entrepreneurial epiphany and a clear mission for myself. Start small. Think big.

     I trotted down to the local ‘China Mart’ and, although it was a massive contradiction, selected a crochet hook set, some skeins of yarn, and an instruction booklet. I told myself it was better not to spend a ton of money acquiring high end supplies until I’m sure I’m going to stick with this ‘hobby / business venture.’ Sheepishly, I brought them home and tried to let the nostalgia settle in as I conjured up memories of grandma diligently teaching me, the easily frustrated child I was, to crochet. I wasn’t even going to think about sewing - That was something I had garnered a little more mastery in, yet it seemed to require a lot more investment, hardware and technical know-how. I set my DVR to record “Knit & Crochet Today” on PBS and let my hooks fly, slowly and deliberately at first, but flapping about even so.

My first project...

     Louder than words, eh? As hilarious and feeble as it may be, I keep it as a reminder of how far I’ve come. Take notes, beginners. This is not as easy as it looks! After reading through a few VERY basic patterns, I decided I didn’t need no stinkin’ directions… I would just practice making basic stitches in squares that might do double duty, if they turned out, as dishcloths. Um, yeah. Not so much. Several dishcloths later, I became a master of improvisation, and finally, something clicked. I got it.

     I still buck the idea of patterns. I even discovered through my voracious reading on the subject of ‘hooking,’ that there all kinds of names and labels for people like me. Freestyle. Freeform. Designer. Turns out, there are all kinds of terms and acronyms for crocheting and knitting, and not just for the stitches themselves. Debbie Stoller, Author of “Stitch 'N Bitch Crochet: The Happy Hooker,” was a fantastic and funny read, if the title alone doesn’t totally turn you off. My favorite book so far has been “The Complete Photo Guide to Crochet” by Margaret Hubert, but even before that, I took on the ambitious project of making my own cardigan / coat, sans pattern. Remarkably enough, it turned out! It’s wearable! Success! It will always be a prized possession.

      Since then, I have gained great confidence in my abilities to create something genuinely unique. When I post items for sale, I can recreate them in similar fashion, but no two will be alike. Turns out, that’s a huge bonus for people like me, whose modern idealism focuses on buying from local artisans, appreciating homemade crafts, and feel that the purchase of something handmade gives it a folksy-luxury status.

     I can’t pinpoint the one thing that made crocheting “click” for me, because there were so many factors… Learning the stitches is one thing, but getting a feel for the weight and ‘hand’ of the yarn, discerning the fibers themselves and deciding when softer is truly better, or realizing when cotton makes sense even though it has very little stretch. Pick thick or thin, and why? Determining what truly needs patterning to come out right, and what can just be made up as you go.

     One of my favorite aspects of crochet, not having the brain capacity (yet) to understand knitting, is how architectural crochet actually is. There is something structural and sort of limitless about it. You can pretty much make anything go in any direction you choose. My newfound ‘hooker friends’ and I adore coming up with schemes to avoid seams and weaving items together, in other words, never stop crocheting until you are actually DONE!

     My tippy-top, cherry-on-top reason to pick up those crochet hooks and a soft, fuzzy ball of yarn is how it makes me feel closer to my grandma, who lives more than 10 hours away from me and my children. She is one of my favorite people in the world, not because she’s perfect (because pobody’s nerfect), but because she taught me common sense - To do and make things for myself. She didn’t get frustrated when I did, and she didn’t push me. And when I think of all the neat things she made for me and my family, I wish I would have cherished them more. I wish I still had them all to pass down to my babies. The greatest fulfillment will be that I will follow in her footsteps. Like the great wise man who, instead of giving him a fish, teaches the starving man to fish for himself – I will teach my most beloved to create for themselves the things their hearts (and bellies) desire.

Aside from the plethora of blogs out there, I recommend the following sites:

www.ravelry.com

www.caron.com

www.lionbrand.com

www.crochetme.com

www.interweave.com

www.coatsandclark.com

Memorable Quotes from Coquesia Belle's Past Facebook Statuses

Make-up needn't be seen as a corrective or something to hide behind. I see it as another form of expression and acceptance, even pleasure, of being in one's skin.
-- Kay Montano (make-up artist), Sunday Times, "Style"

 Pretty is something you're born with. But beautiful, that's an equal opportunity adjective.
-- Author Unknown

When you look for the good in others, you discover the best in yourself.
-- Martin Walsh

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.
-- Mark Twain

Beauty lies in imperfection.

 Enthusiasm is the best protection in any situation. Wholeheartedness is contagious. Give yourself, if you wish to get others.
-- David Seabury

Each day is a new canvas to paint upon. Make sure your picture is full of life and happiness, and at the end of the day you don't look at it and wish you had painted something different.
-- Author Unknown

Three Rules of Work:
Out of clutter find simplicity;
From discord find harmony;
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.
-- Author Unknown

People of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others: they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else.
-- Nathaniel Branden

Mistakes are part of the dues that one pays for a full life.
-- Sophia Loren

Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.
-- Coco Chanel

"It doesn't have to MATCH, it has to GO!"
-Stacy London & Clinton Kelly from TLC's 'What Not To Wear'

If I NEED to do something, it never comes out right. If I WANT to do something, it's from a creative, organic, passionate place, and it's amazing.--Jennifer Lopez

Elegance is a question of personality, more than one's clothing.
-Jean-Paul Gaultier

And the best ones of all:

Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.
-- Coco Chanel

"To drop a plumb line into the depths of life, to find thereby the great emotions common to all mankind and to express them so that all mankind will understand the expression - This, I think, is what art is for." - Gutzon Borglum, Artist & Sculptor of Mt. Rushmore

I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little - if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that's the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.
-- Coco Chanel